Before The Moon Comes Out
by Blumenblood21
Summary: 1936 - 1958 WW2 and after. Ludwig and Gilbert are two orphans, who met eachother and after getting out of the orphanage, they live together, too. Everything seems right, until war breaks in. What will happen, read to find out.
1. Prologue

**_@Exokookieotaku_****_I know this won't get views, but this fanfic was getting dusty between the drafts! I don't own hetalia. But I own the story-line._****_first version: 2. 12. 2018_** **_edited: 13.04.2019_**

1...2...3...

"Gilbert, you can't cheat this time!" Elizabeth shouted after him. Gilbert grinned and ran around her. "That is no fair!" She cried.

Gilbert continued on irritating her until a knock was heard from the door.

"Sleep! Why are you awake?!" They practically jumped across the room into their beds and pulled their blankets over their heads in a messy attempt to faint sleeping. Gilbert couldn't help but giggle, in which it later turned into a laughter outburst. Elizabeth joined him, too.

Gilbert liked how Elizabeth laughed. He was only 13 years old when he had realized his interest for her. "I am going to marry you someday." Gilbert said with a calm voice and shut his eyes. "In your dreams," She replied while yawning. "That'd be enough, too." He covered his head.

"You are still awake?!" The woman yelled again with a slight tune of disappointment on her voice.

He wasn't ready for this. He had to wash the dishes. He hated working and doing chores. Hell, what were the other kids for? Eating and leaving shitty plates for him to wash? He was not in mood of even thinking about their excuses for not doing his chores. Egoistic.

"There is a spot you've missed." He sat the plate on the counter and turned around to face Elizabeth. "You'd make a decent wife." She joked. Gilbert seemed offended as Elizabeth seemingly had totally underestimated his manliness. Nonetheless, he didn't have the time to start bickering with her, instead he continued on washing and rinsing. Elizabeth joined him and helped him with drying the plates. It reduced the doubled load of work.

"Did you saw the new kid?" She asked casually. They were the eldest in the orphanage. They would have known immediately, if there was something new or someone new.

"Nah, you think I can itch my head with the loads of work I have gotten today?" Gilbert said sarcastically. Elizabeth nodded and wiped her hands on her apron. "We are finished. Wanna walk around?" She asked with a gesture of her hand. Gilbert was more than glad to join the girl he liked. But, he wasn't sure if she took his feelings serious.

They walked down to the yard and sat on a bench. The younger kids were playing with each other and singing. Gilbert enjoyed the view. They were his family. He had grown up with them. Mrs Barbara rang a bell which meant that the kids should gather in the hall for studying. Gilbert, Elizabeth and some older kids weren't pledged to join her. When the nuns and the kids were gone inside, Elizabeth exhaled a long sigh and stretched her legs wide; not in a so lady-like posture. "There is a new kid. He is super adorable, but he is deadly quiet." She crossed her arms and leaned forward. Gilbert watched her intently and pretended that he was listening, but all in reality, he was mesmerized by her. "He is quiet handsome, too." She noted. Gilbert snapped out of his illusion and faced the girl with wide eyes. "What do you mean, he is handsome?" He asked seriously. Elizabeth rarely admired someone's physical appearance and when she did, it meant that she really meant it or they were granted with some sort of alien like beauty. Gilbert felt unsafe. "Calm down, he is a kid. However, I believe once he grows up completely, he'd steal a lot of hearts." She shut her eyes and held her head down. Her brown hear hanged from her neck. "I don't think so." Gilbert defended himself. He had to be the one Elizabeth prised not some new kid, who he hadn't even seen before. "Ugh, Beilschmidt. Are you jealous?" Elizabeth smirked.

"Of course not! I am just stating the fact! Whatever... I don't care. I even haven't seen the kid." Gilbert said and clenched his hands to the wooden bench. "There he is! Look," Elizabeth shook him vigorously. Gilbert looked at the direction; he saw a blond boy with black pants and a white buttoned shirt. He was walking around silently and seemed to be observing everything. "That's the guy, isn't he handsome?" Gilbert had to admit that his eyes were peculiarly blue and his features were pleasant to watch, but he wasn't sure whether he was handsome or not. "I don't know. I am not a girl. Ask a girl." He shrugged his shoulders and pulled away from her iron grabs. Elizabeth blinked for a while and then sighed; suddenly she stood and walked toward the said blond boy. Gilbert watched her go without giving much affords on following her.

"Hey, who are you?" She chirped. The boy turned his head and mumbled. "What was that?" Elizabeth held her hand before her ear. "Ludwig," Elizabeth introduced herself and pulled the poor kid back to her place. Gilbert had crossed his legs and arms and wasn't looking at them; at least he tried not to.

"This old man is Gilbert." Elizabeth pointed at him. Gilbert didn't react, she held her finger close to his eye, he snapped. "Just because I am two days older, doesn't mean I am an old man!" Elizabeth laughed obnoxiously. Ludwig stared at them both, helplessly. "But your hair is white," Elizabeth poked again. Gilbert hissed a half curse word, before he met the pleading blue orbs of the younger boy. He cut halfway. "The devil is wrong with your face?" He said coldly. Ludwig's cheek turned red and cleared his throat. "I am Ludwig, nice to meet you." He held his hand out; Gilbert looked and shook it with a half sided smile. Elizabeth was right, Ludwig was handsome.

a) "She has been with me for five years." Gilbert told Ludwig about himself and Elizabeth. It had been a month since Ludwig had been transferred into their orphanage. Ludwig was very calm, but rageful on times. Not to forget, he was a clean freak much to Gilbert's favour.

They got along pretty good, although they weren't alike. Elizabeth was always with them, like a friend to Gilbert and a sister to Ludwig. Gilbert hadn't yet received an answer to his confession, but he was sure that Elizabeth wasn't into Ludwig, either. Gilbert liked them both, a lot, mainly because they weren't constantly nagging around his ears to do things on the standard way.

Even he was the oldest between his best friends; he needed to be taken care of the most. Ludwig as the youngest was actually the wisest. Things were going happily, until one day Ludwig and Gilbert came back to their orphanage from a short walk, and couldn't find Elizabeth anymore. They searched everywhere, until one of the nuns told them that she was sent with a family; a filthy rich family who apparently had a boy as old as Elizabetha. She was lucky. She could end alone like Gilbert, but no, she had found a family. Gilbert wondered, whether Elizabeth actually considered him as someone or not. He was broken. Betrayer, he thought. When the news reached to his ears, he had just smiled and slowly walked out to the yard. He sank slowly down onto the bench and looked at the empty place beside him. He stared at it for long, thinking about many things. Couldn't she say goodbye? Could he meet her again? He remained silent for an hour until his eyes started to burn and so, he cried quietly. He wiped his face hurriedly, because a man should not cry for whatever reason he has. He had always tried to prove it to Elizabetha, for so long.

Elizabetha had been his only hope and the only one he had in his life! She left him. So cruel of her. Despite knowing everything, she left him all alone. Had she forgotten the time he was trying to hang himself, because he was desperately alone? Probably. Gilbert held his head in his hands and blinked his tears quietly.

"Gilbert?" He looked at his side, which was the place Elizabeth normally sat, but now was occupied by Ludwig. He sat straight and cleaned his face. "Don't cry," "am not crying." He lied. "Your nose is red and running, so do your eyes. Don't lie." Ludwig stated accurately. Gilbert couldn't help but smile at the younger.

"You are right," Gilbert stood up and looked at the entrance door. It didn't matter anymore. From that day on, he put Elizabetha in his past, and pulled Ludwig close to his future. After all, he had Ludwig. Ludwig; so good like a brother, so smart like a guardian, and so handsome like an actor. It would pass by, within one year, and then he could bury everything away or forget them. But, no matter where he would go, he would always carry and take Ludwig with him.

"You are right," Gilbert said with a warm smile to Ludwig. "I am going to turn 18 and then I can leave here." Gilbert said, while kicking a rock. Ludwig appeared thoughtful and observing. He looked at the elder and nodded his head.

"I am coming with you." He said. That was enough for Gilbert to enlighten his heart again. It was like a flame that warmed his life, again.

Whether Ludwig had meant it to make him feel better or to say something heart-warming, Gilbert had bought it as real and was going to take him with. He had bought his words. Ludwig would go with him.

**_This is my first historical fanfic of hetalia that I am posting here. I hope you enjoy reading it._**


	2. Sometimes

_Keep in mind that the events, which take place in this fanfic are mostly fictional. I also try to mention the events which are historically true. If there was any confusions, please tell me about it so I can fix it._

**1936**

"Happy birthday, Ludwig." Gilbert said and the younger blew the candles on top of the cake. Gilbert enthusiastically hugged him.

Ludwig returned the hug. Gilbert handed him a package. The younger opened it and hugged Gilbert once again. "Thank you. This is... too much." Ludwig said. "Nah, I spared money for this, don't worry."

Ludwig stayed calm but Gilbert knew him for long enough, to feel how happy he was. Whether he was happy, shy, sad, angry, it was enough for Gilbert to look at those mirror like blue eyes and the redness on his cheeks. However if he were to be someone like Gilbert, he'd likely over-do his excitement.

"Time flies... I mean, look at you. You've grown to be so... good." Gilbert couldn't bring the fact up to his face, because he already knew that Ludwig was better in everything than him. He felt jealous sometimes. He was actually afraid of losing Ludwig to the world, where he was born and distant to be alone, but then Ludwig got involved within his life. This fear was excruciating him every day, every night, and he couldn't bring himself to forget it. Ludwig was growing fast. He knew that better than any of his teachers at the school or his friends. Within such a young age, Ludwig had already mastered the English language. He could communicate effortlessly. As for him, it took him a few years until he reached the level, in which he felt confident enough to communicate.

"We can eat cake." Ludwig shoved a plate with a fork towards Gilbert. Gilbert seemed to be out there, Ludwig didn't know exactly where.

"I am taking the chocolate part." Gilbert said. He wasn't gone too far, Ludwig thought. Ludwig removed the 15 candles from his cake and cut it into four pieces.

The atmosphere was cuddled by an awkward silence that shouldn't have been there on the first place. Gilbert was calm, and when he was calm for that long; something was going to happen.

Gilbert looked at Ludwig and remembered the day he had met him for the first time. He was naive. He was short. He was skinny. Yes, he was a child. But now, Ludwig was as tall as him and nearly as muscular as he was. Remembering that day made him also feel a certain memory relive in his mind. It reminded him of a Hungarian girl, which he didn't want to say her name. Because, he'd fall back on those dark moments that made him feel depressed for a certain period of time.

"Gilbert!" Ludwig called his name louder this time and the elder finally drifted out of his thoughts. He smiled at him and started to eat the cake. Somewhere on the back of his head, he was still thinking about that irritating possibility that could leave him alone and depressed for months. He hated the fact. He hated everything about that part of himself, in which he wasn't the controller.

"I guess, you don't want to listen." Ludwig muttered the words so breathily and so quietly, it was hardly audible, but his words were powerful enough to wake him.

"I...I am listening, it is just, I am listening." It was stupid to get distracted by his own thoughts. He was supposed to listen to the younger, because he was still there, talking, chatting and sharing his life story with him. He hadn't left him yet, not yet.

"Is there something bothering you? You look pale, too. Did you eat too much cake?" Ludwig asked. Gilbert wanted to tell him about his fear, but that was the opposite of his awesomeness. He wasn't even awesome anymore, because nobody called him so. The awesome Gilbert used to live in an orphanage in a small town in Bavaria, but he, he was just an ordinary man from Berlin, now. He used to be awesome, but not anymore.

"... I think, I grow up fast. My clothes are getting small..." and again, he was back to the land of dreams. Ludwig's voice echoed in his head, but he heard nothing. Ludwig was talking? Ludwig would leave him, right? No, he'd better stay, he had nobody. "...I meet a guy..." Ludwig spoke calmly. Gilbert wasn't sure whether he was aware of the battle happening in his mind or not. Wished, he had been Ludwig.

"...Good night..." The words echoed in his ears. He stood up and stopped Ludwig before he could leave the room. Gilbert's eyes were filled with concern. "Good night..." He answered with a faint smile. Ludwig eyed him and slowly wrapped his arms around the elder's neck. Gilbert returned the fever. "You could take a holiday." The younger suggested. He was right. He hadn't had a proper holiday since three months and the loads of work on him were stressing him a lot.

"I'll think about it." Gilbert said and held him closer. He was still bewildered by the differences in Ludwig. He was growing. He was growing to become a better man. Hell, he had even planned his full life. He had plans for his future. Gilbert wasn't sure if he had a place in Ludwig's complicated life organisation.

"Think about it, I am free. The teacher is ill, we can go swimming." Ludwig added with a cheerful smile.

"Happy birthday, Ludwig."

The autumn winds were blowing the yellowed leaves of the trees away towards many directions. The red leaves were his favourite, because it reminded him of his own eye colour. His eyes had a peculiar colour; red. The wind was caressing his pale hair. He ran his hand over his head and stood in front of a coffee shop. Ludwig was buying some cookies to eat. He had taken his swim shorts, but he wasn't sure about swimming, because it was cold and the autumn's chilling weather wasn't quite proper for swimming.

"Hurry up." He sighed and kicked a rock away. Ludwig was calmly chatting with the workers.

Gilbert wondered why of all the times, Ludwig had changed his attitude on that moment. First of all, it was autumn. Secondly, they should swim before evening.

" Danke sehr. Schön Tag noch." Ludwig waved his hand with a polite smile and walked out. Gilbert glared at the younger and strided toward the shore. Ludwig followed him wordlessly.

"Here?" Gilbert asked. Ludwig observed the place; it was not in the shadow or too open; just perfect. He nodded. Gilbert put his bag on the ground and started to stripe out of his clothes. The weather was not suitable for swimming. But, both of them were eager to do so.

Gilbert changed into his swimming shorts first and walked into the water.

"You jerk!" Ludwig hissed, because Gilbert left his clothes all over the place. Ludwig had to gather everything; he hadn't even changed his clothes.

"Leave them!" The elder called. Ludwig changed his shorts and put his clothes inside Gilbert's bag. He walked into the water. He nearly gasped from the coldness. "It is so cold." He muttered. Meters away, Gilbert was swimming. He liked to hear the sound of water. When his head was under water, all he could hear was white noise. It was peaceful.

"Gilbert," He looked up. Ludwig had started to swim towards him. "You're still slow." Gilbert shouted. Ludwig fastened his pace until he was beside Gilbert.

"Let's go. It is freezing." Ludwig said sternly. "Nah, I am fine. It was your idea after all. Totally not awesome." Gilbert joked. Ludwig looked at him blankly. They stayed in the water for a while longer before Gilbert walked out. He took his towel and dried his body and hair. Ludwig was still in water and looked at him. "Do you work out? Lately?" Ludwig asked. "Yeah, a little." To attract some girls- Gilbert wanted to say, but Ludwig was still young.

"You've toned." Ludwig added. Gilbert felt self-satisfied.

"Next time, let's work out together." Ludwig said and walked out of the water. "Your body isn't bad, too. You are only 15."

"Yeah yeah." Gilbert couldn't help but ruffle his platinum blond hair.

He handed him the towel and Ludwig dried himself, too. Gilbert wore his clothes and sat under the sun. The last days in which they'd get to enjoy the sun like this. It was ironically depressing. Ludwig joined him and they both ate the cookies. Ludwig stared at the water. His pale blue eyes held no emotion. Gilbert liked his eye colour. It was unique, serious and normal. Hell, with his red eyes, he'd never appeared normal regardless of his white hair and skin pigmentation.

"Ludwig, uhm... Sorry bro, but you gotta shave your face sometimes." Gilbert awkwardly pointed at the pale stubble that had started to appear on the younger's face. Ludwig turned red and hurriedly looked away. "No..none of your business. Stop starring!" Ludwig stuttered which made Gilbert laugh even more.

"Welcome to manhood." Gilbert exclaimed enthusiastically.

"I don't want to speak about it!" Ludwig yelled and turned red again.

"You'll see more of it soon!"


	3. Somewhere

**1936**

On his 15th birthday, Ludwig couldn't stop his heartbeat. He had received a gift from one of his female classmates. The gift felt heavy in his pocket as he rode his bicycle back towards home. He was considering, whether he should show it to Gilbert or not.

He knocked the door and hid the pocket inside his bag. The rain drops were falling gently over his head and slid slowly down his hair tips. Gilbert opened the door.

"Hal-, Come in!" Gilbert pulled Ludwig inside and took his school bag from him. He brought a dry towel for the younger and wrapped the fabric around his head. Ludwig sighed and started to dry his wet hair. Gilbert took his bag away. His heart started to beat faster when he remembered that the girl hadn't only given him a pocket, but also a letter. Suddenly, a shudder of fear ran down his body.

"Ya bro, you are shivering. Change your clothes, you'll get sick!" Gilbert saw him. He brought his bag into his room and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea for make him.

Ludwig watched him go; he got into his room and shut the door. He sat behind the closed door to get it shut, because the old door didn't have a key or a lock to secure his room.

He sank on the ground and opened his bag to pull a letter out. He opened the cover.

"Happy, as happy as you are.

Birthday? Can I make your day?

To you,..."

He smiled at his little confession letter. But, Gilbert shouldn't find his letter. He opened the pocket and saw a portrait of himself drawn by pencil. He was more than happy. He could even show it to Gilbert, had he not reacted so against the idea of having a girlfriend.

Another knock on his door, and Ludwig was sure if he hadn't opened his door, the door wouldn't exist anymore.

"Ludwig, what are you doing?" Gilbert called.

"Nothing, just changing my clothes", Ludwig mentally slapped himself, because he was so incompetent with lying. Obviously, it wasn't a good reason for sitting behind his door and not letting Gilbert in. "The food is ready." He heard the elder's foot step. He sighed and hid his portrait and the letter under his mattress. The slight feeling of guiltiness blossomed inside him, because everything he was and he had, been granted to Gilbert, because he worked hard for them. Even the mattress reminded him of Gilbert's labour work. Wasn't it betrayal to hide something as close to a taboistic act under that mattress? He didn't know. He wanted to feel different only for once in his life time, only for a week or so. He was 15; he wanted to feel like a teenager.

"Ludwig!" Gilbert called him again.

"What took you so long?" Gilbert asked. Ludwig didn't know how to answer that question. Thanks to his cluelessness, he hadn't even touched his clothes. Gilbert knew the younger was lying, but he didn't to push him further. Even Ludwig had a reason to lie, since he was a teenager, and teens would do anything. Even he lied; even Gilbert lied to Ludwig, sometimes; because he couldn't talk to his younger about his sex life or how he smoked once in a while to hinder his stress and problems. Bad idea, but better than breaking someone.

"Drink the tea and eat your food before it gets cold." Gilbert kindly patted his hair and patted his hand down to his upper back. "Don't worry." He cooed. "Everything is fine, even if you don't tell me." With that said, a shudder ran down the younger's spine. The blossomed guilt in his chest grew larger, teasing his chest. He coughed and sat back. Gilbert's expression changed and sat back on his place, too. Ludwig looked at everything except his eyes. There was a killing silence between them. Gilbert waited for Ludwig, and Ludwig waited for Gilbert to start.

Nothing happened. Ludwig sighed and smiled at Gilbert. "It was tasty. Thank you." He changed the subject. Gilbert hated when the younger changed the subject so non-chalantly. So effortlessly. "You are welcome." Gilbert said without emotions. They were just words meant without feeling.

Ludwig was studying in his room, when Gilbert walked in. He sat on his bed and Ludwig could feel his heart pumping harder than ever. "You like... girls?" Ludwig put his pen down and faced his elder. "What type of question is that?" He asked. Gilbert shrugged. "I can see how that little Italian in the bakery shop talks to you."

"Are you talking about Feliciano?" Gilbert nodded. Ludwig hadn't thought about it like that. His perspective was totally different. "I don't feel anything like that towards him." Ludwig answered, because he had never thought about a 'friend' like that. But, he knew about Gilbert. He knew that he wasn't only limited to female. Gilbert didn't tell him about his 'personal' life, but he knew it. After Elizabetha, Gilbert had changed a lot. He wasn't talking about girls, because no girl could surpass Elizabetha. Somewhere between those lines, Gilbert was staring at guys more than girls. Ludwig knew it, because he was always with him. Ludwig even knew what type of guy Gilbert preferred; a guy like 'him' or a guy like 'her'.

Ludwig understood. Yet, he didn't know about his life- Ludwig thought.

"I like him, because he is only a 'friend', nothing more." Ludwig answered sternly. He liked the little girl from his class, who had portrait him so flawlessly. He liked to feel her hands within his own. He liked her, at least that was what he thought. "Very well. Goodnight, Ludwig." Gilbert smirked and walked out.

Gilbert waited until Ludwig turned off hislight, indicating he was sleeping. He waited another hour to make sure nothingcould wake him. He took his jacket from the hanger, wore it and walked out ofthe house. He knew he was going to carry dark circles under his eyes for thenext day, but it was worth it, because at night time, Ludwig wasn't there to watch him be an irresponsible man who banged with other men.

Once in a while, he felt like it, so he went out.

But this time, it wasn't a stranger. He was going out with one of his colleagues,whom he had found out about earlier that month. It was no emotional meeting, nohard feelings for each other, just out of a mere need.

But, Ludwig didn't know, because he was safe, asleep. And, he shall never findout about him.


	4. Somehow

_1937_

His hands shook. He nervously dragged the heavy suitcase from the top of the closet. The suitcase made a cracking noise. He looked around him even though his lamp was off and Gilbert was asleep. He tiptoed once again and reached up.

"It better be here." He mumbled mindlessly with his eyebrows knotted together. He pulled it towards him once again and looked at his sides.

He opened it and as he started to shuffle the papers, a single knock brought him back to reality.

"What should be better there?" Gilbert slurred. Ludwig slumped his shoulders.

"Honestly, Ludwig. What on mighty earth are you-" he hiccupped "you looking for?" Ludwig shamefully turned around and didn't look at Gilbert. On the other side of the living room, Gilbert stood there with a hand on his hip and studied him with his drunken condition.

"You know what, never mind. Go to your room. We have tomorrow, right?" Something about the way he spoke seemed threatening. Ludwig nodded and walked to his room. One week of effort went to the dust. He couldn't understand Gilbert. All he wanted was his orphanage identification card. Ludwig needed it for many reasons and Gilbert wasn't giving it to him, because he thought Ludwig would lose it. Ludwig was no kid anymore and Gilbert knew it better than anyone. Gilbert needed to trust him. Ludwig urged for feeling trustworthy. He had to be trusted, because he was the only person Gilbert spent the most of his time with and the only one that he loved truly. Ludwig was no fling or no colleague for Gilbert, he was his only family. Even if their relationship wasn't bond by blood, it changed nothing on the way they cared for each other. For sake of that bond, Ludwig wanted Gilbert to have faith in him.

Ludwig sat at his desk and took a paper. He started to scribble anything on it, because he was angry. Sure, he didn't show it, but as his human instincts required, he got emotional. He hissed some curse words he had learned from Gilbert. He slammed his hand over his desk and stood up. He didn't know why Gilbert did it to him. He knew Ludwig well enough to think that he would do something reckless, or to tell him about his problem, because one day Gilbert would never return from those shady streets he went and got himself drunk, and that was Ludwig's fear. He didn't want to lose him. For the love of Almighty, he'd die if something happened to Gilbert. He just wanted him to be honest. Just wanted a normal life. It had been years since they've met each other. Nobody made him feel more alive than Gilbert. Nobody cared for him as much as Gilbert. Nobody cracked his protective shield that had kept him alone, but Gilbert did. Gilbert was capable of everything, and that quality of him scared Ludwig.

He stood before the mirror and looked at his own reflection. Pale, golden hair shone brighter in the moon light. Straight, sharp nose complimented his pale face and ocean blue eyes perfectly. His strong jaw bone stood out in before the shadow that over casted his neck and his shoulder. He was growing taller. Yet all he saw in himself was disappointment. He touched his face. The picture before him wasn't satisfying enough. He thought; if he could have the same pointed chin, the same bony, pointed nose, he'd appear more like Gilbert. He would actually look more similar to him. But Gilbert didn't see the best in himself and it irritated Ludwig. Gilbert as confident as he was; he hid everything. If he could only open up more to Ludwig, he'd tell him that he is the only person who matters. But Gilbert hid or tried to hide himself and his life.

Ludwig had found out about his preference a few months ago. He needed to find out, because if he hadn't, Gilbert wasn't going to tell him.

"You are up?" Gilbert whispered softly from behind the door. Ludwig climbed into his bed and shut his eyes. "Ludwig, open up." He loved to talk to him, but Gilbert was drunk, again. He'd forget everything by the morning light. "I know you haven't slept yet." He coughed and sniffed. "Hey, I am coming." He opened the door and shut it behind him. He sat before his bed and leaned at the wall. "I know you have so many things inside your head. I do, too. Tomorrow seems like years away. What if I don't live up until tomorrow?" Gilbert put his head on the bed. Ludwig only listened to him. "I liked her." Gilbert slurred. "Her eyes were crazy green. She was pretty. I can't remember when I saw her for the last time, uhm... yeah. Four or three years ago, or maybe more than that. It doesn't matter, right?" He paused. Ludwig relaxed his tensed muscles. "Do you know what happened today? I saw her again. She even didn't remember me. She just smiled and spoke. She looks so beautiful." His voice began to shake. Ludwig's chest was filled with a bubble like feeling. "She is married to an Austrian guy." Gilbert said at last and became quite. Ludwig turned to his side and reached a hand out. He ran his hand on Gilbert's hair. Suddenly, the elder started to cry. "It is OK. I miss her, too, and I know that you miss her more." Ludwig patted his back.

"But she is only twenty two and she is married!" Gilbert said quietly.

"I promised to marry her. Why is this happening to me?"

Ludwig couldn't stand it anymore.

"Because we cannot change certain events. And don't you dare to think about something stupid, because I'd follow you." He said in a warning voice. Gilbert was unstable.

"But nobody cares about me." Gilbert felt pathetic. For a grown up man like him, it was not convenient to cry in front his youngsters. But he couldn't hold it back anymore. "I don't know, why I am telling you this." He muttered. Ludwig sighed and sat up.

"Listen, I care about you. I see how you feel. Drinking isn't the solution to your problems. If you love her then wish her the best. You are a good person, Gilbert. Don't forget it, because you helped me. And I care about you, because I l-"

"I am going to throw up now-" Gilbert ran to the toilet and left Ludwig's words incomplete. If he had only let him speak his sentence to the end, things would've changed a lot. For better maybe. Had he only paid enough attention to their conversation that night...

The night went by and a new day came. The birds sang chirping songs on the trees. Gilbert was asleep on the couch. Ludwig was asleep on a chair before the couch. The raining of the last night was gone and the sun shone brightly. It illuminated the room. It was a new day. Both of them had something to say, but one had to start. Gilbert woke up earlier. He remembered everything with details.

**_I thank you all for reading my fanfiction. It means a lot to me. Please, do comment if you like the story, or if you want to suggest something about the plot line._**

**_As said before, I cannot garantee the historical accuracy of this fanfic, but I try to make it less inaccurate._**

**_I would also appreciate a beta reader. _**

**_till next chapter._**

**_30\. 04. 2019_**


	5. Someone

Winter

He hadn't done anything with his colleague the night before. He was glad he hadn't. Instead, he had bought a joint from an English guy that had bushy eyebrows and a weird, fake Berliner accent. The joint was still in his pocket as he was knocked out. Now, he hurriedly searched his pocket and nearly panicked when he couldn't find it. He looked correctly and realized that it wasn't even his own pants from the night before. Damn it!

Ludwig stirred and rubbed his eyes. Gilbert looked at him with rounded eyes. "What is it?" Ludwig rasped.

"No- nothin'" Gilbert faked a smile.

"Actually, since I kept you up last night, you have to sleep now. You seem tired. Go back to sleep." The younger was already asleep as he spoke to him. He carried him to his room and put him on his bed. He pulled his blanket on him. As he wanted to go out, he saw the joint. He nearly trapped over. He took it and slid it inside his pocket. He looked at Ludwig for the last time.

He walked out and shut the door. "What happened to my pants?" He said to himself. He walked out of the house and fired the joint. He took a drag and exhaled it. It was his first time using something like that. Suddenly, his lungs felt squeezed and ticklish. He threw the joint away and coughed a lot. He was never going to smoke again. He'd stick to his liquors.

After an hour, he went back to the house. Ludwig was still asleep and snored quietly.

He took a bath. After wards, he started to do his work. He had a lot to finish: Neglected papers and files.

Ludwig took the portrait out. Gilbert was gone. He looked at it and a small smile found its place on his face. He cherished the picture. For all it mattered, it was the best gift he had received for his birthday.

He rode on his bicycle till he reached to the river shore. He stayed there for a while. He locked his portrait in a metal box and hid under the sand. It was colder there. At least he didn't have to worry about the portrait anymore. It was around the evening when he went back. As he stepped inside, Gilbert stood before him with sceptic manner.

He crossed his arms on his chest.

Ludwig sighed and held his head down. Gilbert tapped his foot impatiently. It was dark outside. "Uhm, I was out." Ludwig mumbled. "I know." Gilbert spat.

"I was riding my bicycle across the river side." Ludwig glances up. "I am sorry." Gilbert sighed and turned on his heels. He gestured at the younger to follow him. He sat at the table and held a paper between his hands.

"Ludwig, these are your documents. I thought you wanted to have from, since you are old enough." Ludwig nearly panicked.

"Yeah, I was drunk but I remember everything." Gilbert admitted. "And next time, don't change my pants if I throw up." He said with a blush. Ludwig nodded.

Just as Ludwig wanted to go to his room, Gilbert held his hand. "Sit. Down." Ludwig sat. He looked at him. Gilbert opened a letter and gave it to Ludwig. It was a brief from Barbara. Ludwig read it. It was an invitation letter for him. He could go back to the orphanage. Gilbert bit the inner sides of his mouth.

"So?" He asked. "What do you think about it? I mean it is a fine opportunity for you, I mean-" Ludwig just looked at him without listening. "No, I am fine here." He interrupted him. Gilbert stopped with an 'oh'. "Don't rash on it, think about it." Gilbert said.

Ludwig didn't know what to say or do. He wanted to stay with Gilbert. Even if the elder wanted him gone, he'd find his way back to Gilbert.

"Gilbert, I want to stay here." Ludwig repeated sternly.

None of them spoke for a while. Gilbert was tapping his foot under the table. Ludwig's hands were sweaty. They were cuddled by nervousness.

"So, you wanna stay?" Gilbert repeated. Ludwig nodded.

Ludwig gave him his documents back. Gilbert was a better keeper. Gilbert stopped going out. Not totally, but he didn't come home with a break down.

One day, Gilbert brought a friend with him. Ludwig was studying, when a boisterous laughter rang across the street. Gilbert laughed loud. It was him. Ludwig shrugged his shoulder and continued his work. Gilbert opened the door with his key but the chain was on place. Ludwig sighed and opened the door. "Hey Lud." Gilbert said with a high pitched voice. Ludwig studied his posture; clean clothes, kempt hair, normal skin tone; he was sober.

Ludwig looked at the man beside Gilbert. The man smiled at him in a charming way. Ludwig stopped staring and stepped aside. "It is freaking cold. Fucking winter..." Gilbert muttered. Ludwig coughed and dragged his attention. He gestured at their guest with his eyes. "Oh, no, don't worry. Francis is no stranger." Francis nodded enthusiastically. "I am Francis Bonnfoy." Francis stretched his hand out and shook his hand. Ludwig smiled at him curtly. He had heard his name before. Somewhere. It wasn't his business.

"So you are Ludwig, I thought you were younger." Francis commented as Ludwig was making tea. "Oh, no. He is _underage_." Gilbert stressed '_underage_'. "Oh," yeah, oh. Freakin' perverted frog. Gilbert thought for a moment.

Ludwig knew that Francis was one of Gilbert's friends. He knew that he was from France, because his accent said so. Schlaumeier. He nearly snorted.

"I think Berlin is colder than Paris." Francis studied their house. "Nice house." Ludwig wasn't particularly comfortable with Francis' small talks.

"Ludwig, Feliciano wanted to meet you." Gilbert said loudly. "Ok." He was glad to leave the awkward aura to Gilbert and his guest.

"Don't be late." His brother called after him, before he shut the door and took his bicycle. He rode towards the bakery near the river.

Feliciano was already standing outside and when he saw him, he waved his hand and smiled. "Did you wait?" Ludwig asked. "No, actually papa closed the door, now, and I said I'd wait for you." Feliciano talked a lot and very detailed. "But you waited." Ludwig dead-panned. Feliciano chuckled and nodded.

"Where is your bicycle?" Feliciano's expression changed for a bit. "Punctured. Some idiot punctured it today."

"Ok, show me. Maybe I can fix it." Feliciano brought his bicycle. It wasn't that bad. Ludwig rolled his sleeves and sat on work. After a few minutes, the tire was fairly good. But that didn't stopped Ludwig from throwing his sarcastic comment at the poor Italian.

"You work, why are you so cheap on a tire?" Feliciano froze. "Ok, that wasn't nice." Ludwig hummed, before they burst into laughter. They both rode to the river side. "I want to show something, but don't tell others." Ludwig digged the box out of the sand. Feliciano had his eyes pinned to the box. "I promise. Just show me now!" Feliciano squealed.

"Shhh." Ludwig shut him with his hand.

He showed him the portrait. "Ludwig, it is wonderful." Feliciano faked a smile.

"Yeah it is." Feliciano did not find it wonderful at all. It made him jealous, but he couldn't let his jealousy influence his friendship. He was 16 and yet nobody had drawn him. "Don't be pouty." Ludwig pushed him playfully.

"Am not."

They rode around the streets. They burst into giggles when a girl or a group of girls smiled at them.

"They were smiling at me." Feliciano confidently exclaimed. Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." Ludwig teased. "Yeah, yeah." Feliciano repeated. It was fun with Feliciano. Ludwig wondered what it would be like to feel like this with... Gilbert. Gilbert. Gilbert.

"How is your brother?" Feliciano asked.

"He is fine. I guess." He said. Feliciano looked at him with round dark eyes.

"You guess?" His stares were intense.

Ludwig nodded. "What is wrong?" The elder asked. Ludwig pressed his lips.

"I don't understand him, sometimes. Not always." He gave in. Feliciano was a good listener as well as a good chatter.

"What makes you think like that?"

"I don't know. He is difficult."

"It is normal I think. He is 22 and you are 15. There is a huge age gap."

"How is Lovino?" Lovino was Gilbert's frienemy. They were rivals for God knew what reason.

"He is fine. Still cranky. Still snarky. Just himself." Ludwig smiled.

"But I do feel like, as if I don't know him, as if he is a stranger, sometimes." Feliciano looked at him.

"Maybe we aren't good at understanding the grown-ups." Feliciano sighed as he stated the fact. Ludwig couldn't argue.

They sat on an abandoned bridge and watched the sun. He laughed and joked about girls at their schools. Feliciano liked curvy girls, Ludwig liked his classmate. "It is not my fault that I look younger than you. And it makes girls walk away." Feliciano whined.

"It is a turn off." Ludwig smirked. Feliciano punched him.

"Shut up." "Fine, fine!" The blond held his hands over his head as a sign of surrender.

"I think we will move from here." Feliciano sighed and smoked a cigarette. Ludwig hated the smell.

"When?" He asked. Feliciano just smiled at the horizon and smoked. "I don't know." It was important that he was there. Ludwig didn't want to think about the future. It was close and far away. "You are going to turn into a burnt chicken." Feliciano teased him. Ludwig was pale and when he got sun burned, he looked a lot like a burnt chicken. He hated Feliciano for that.

He just ignored his comment.

He didn't understand when it happened or how, but somehow, his fingers were intertwined with Feliciano's. He didn't move. It felt normal and legal. He didn't shame. It was just Feliciano. Gilbert was stupid sometimes. Yeah, he was a dear stupid to Ludwig. The sun was going down. Ludwig separated his way from Feliciano and went home.

"I am home." As he stepped in, Francis was knocked out. Gilbert said he was tired, because he had a long, hard day. Ludwig didn't want to know why, or how. A part of him already knew, a part of him denied it. It was Gilbert. He couldn't change him. If he were to change every bit of the elder, there was going to be no Gilbert anymore.

"Ludwig is a good cook." Francis said. Ludwig cooked. Francis had fancy clothes, long blond hair and stubbles on his chin. His dark blue eyes were sharp.

Ludwig thought he was stylish. However, at the dinner table, when Francis undone his shirt's upper bottoms, what he saw underneath made him disgusted. His neck and chest was full of bruises. He shoved the nagging thought away. Gilbert and Francis... He shoved the thought away.

"So, Ludwig. Tell me about your school." Again, small talk. "I am in a Gymnasium. Grade 9th. I think I am doing quiet fine at school."

Gilbert nodded proudly and poured wine into three glasses. Ludwig drank carefully. "He is a good student." Ludwig couldn't deny the piercing eyes at himself. He tried to calm himself. Francis' laughter was nothing like his none existent laughter or Gilbert's boisterous ones. After the dinner, they sat in the living room and chatted. Somehow, Ludwig was attracted more to their conversation.

He listened only. He was a good listener.

Gilbert said that Francis was going to stay there for a while and he needed a room. Ludwig automatically accepted. He gave him his room. He had nothing to hide.

"Nice room." Francis said. Ludwig hadn't planned on giving his room that immediately, but it was too late. He wondered, for how long he should leave his room.

Gilbert was being serious this time. At least that calmed him.

He was sleeping in a room with Gilbert.

On a night, Ludwig couldn't sleep.

"Do you love him?" He asked Gilbert.

"What?! Me? No no no no. Haha- it is not like that." Gilbert nervously chuckled. Ludwig stared earnestly.

"Don't lie." Ludwig pressed further.

Eventually, Gilbert gave up on protestation and told him, that Francis was just a friend from Paris. He had caught into a fight so he had moved to their house. The bruises on his body were because of the fight. Ludwig felt sort of empathic and embarrassed for accusing his brother, earlier.

"Do you love anyone?" Ludwig asked.

"I love you." He answered without any hesitation. A pause settled down between them. "And Barbara and Feli," The list went on. Gilbert didn't understand him or just changed the subject. Ludwig let it sank.

He fell asleep and he dreamed about the river. Lately, he dreamed a lot.

I am very happy that you guys liked this fanfic.


	6. The Morning

Now that the weather was getting warmer and more pleasant, Ludwig couldn't wait for swimming. He counted the days. Water was pleasant. He met Feliciano sometimes, but he liked better it when he could swim while meeting him. Ludwig felt jealous of him, sometimes. Feliciano was very kind hearted, he smiled and he didn't hold a cold personality. He was nice with children. Ludwig wasn't, or he didn't physically appear so. Just within a few months, he had grown taller than Feliciano, and a bit taller than Gilbert. He wondered how tall he could grow more. Gilbert used to pat his head, but it had been a few weeks, since he had stopped doing so. Ludwig didn't know why. Maybe it was his height.

His body was changing in an extreme speed. His muscles were growing larger and more visible, and his voice had gotten deeper. Facial and body hair. Everything about him was changing.

When he saw that he couldn't help himself anymore, he asked help from Feliciano who happily accepted.

One day after school, both of them went to Ludwig's house and shut the door behind them.

"Now you have to give me a bowl and soap." Feliciano ordered.

Ludwig gathered everything Feliciano recommended. "So now, you have to start it downwards. Papa says it makes your beard grow softer and less spiky." Feliciano took his hand and showed him how to start. Ludwig didn't know much about beard, so he trusted Feliciano with that.

"Now, you have to re-do it once again, to make sure everything is clean." Ludwig soaked the razor in soap-water and shaved once again. He cut his cheek. Feliciano laughed at him, because Ludwig was afraid of pulling it away from his face. The razor was stuck to his skin. "Stop laughing like a dolphin. Help me!" Ludwig hissed. Feliciano was still chuckling, as he slowly helped the younger. "Now, you wash your face and that is all!"

Feliciano watched Ludwig, but he didn't show that he was studying his movements. "Thank you. Gilbert would've laughed his ass off if he was here." Ludwig said to him sarcastically. He only smiled at him in response. When he was around Ludwig, certain feelings quivered in him. He wanted to stay with Ludwig and hold his hands. Now, he reached out a hand and caressed Ludwig's cheek. It was still bleeding a little. He tore a piece of cotton wool and wiped it on his face. Ludwig looked at him quizzically. His eyes were only following Feliciano's face. Feliciano's eyes met the pale orbs, and he lingered on his place for a while longer.

But a motion made him take a distance. He sat straight and smiled at Ludwig; it was one of the typical everything-is-all-right smiles. Ludwig smiled, too. It made his heart beat a little faster. Just a little.

Feliciano ran a hand through his hair and threw his head back and closed his eyes, as his feet were dangling from the table. Ludwig was getting dressed in the other room. "Are you finished already?!" Feliciano whined. "I have waited three hours for you, Feliciano. Don't you dare to forget that!" Ludwig yelled from his room. "I am getting old here. Just hurry up." Feliciano yelled louder. It bothered him, when Ludwig dressed up slowly. He wanted to go to his room and dress him up like an elementary school's student on his first day. Ludwig just couldn't pick a damn pair of pants to go out!

"Fuck you, Beilschmidt." Feliciano cursed him as he lost the last amount of patient he had. He walked into the younger's room after banging at his door. Ludwig startledly took his shirt in his hand. "What on might's earth are you doing?"

"Clothes" Ludwig stood in middle of his room with no shirt. Feliciano rolled his eyes and wished he could act more intimidating. He searched for a shirt and threw it at the younger. Ludwig wore it wordlessly. The cut on his face seemed obvious. It was fresh and stood out against his skin tone. "I think, you can change your hair style for today." He said with a devious smirk. "How?"

"Don't worry about that. If it is a date, that you're saying so, then let's make a few differences. This-" he touched Ludwig's hair "- is not a gentlemanly hairstyle."

Ludwig sat on a chair and let Feliciano term his hair as he wished. Feliciano softly and carefully ran his fingers through his soft, blond hair. He kempt his hair back away from his forehead and flattened on a side. Ludwig wore his best suit Gilbert had bought for him. It was more than a date. Actually, it was a party for the elder students, but Feliciano and Ludwig were invited there, too. And to Ludwig's luck, his crush was going to be there, too.

Both of them were ready now. They went to the place. There was different kind of beverages. Feliciano only drank beer, because he thought he didn't need to get drunk.

Ludwig didn't taste a thing. His eyes searched the little girl.

Hours went by, and the girl didn't come. It was getting boring to him. He exchanged a look with Feliciano.

Slowly the party was getting close to its end. People were moving out; students mainly.

He sighed and walked to Feliciano, who was flirting with a blond, curvy girl. Psh.

"I think we should go." Ludwig tapped on his shoulder. Feliciano cut off his smiling and turned to face Ludwig. "Now?"

"Yes, now."

Feliciano sighed and winked at the girl for the last time before they walked out. Ludwig wanted to be free and flirtatious as Feliciano.

"She didn't come." Ludwig said lowly.

"Well, it is all fine. You can find another girl." Feliciano said cheekily. "You aren't bothered?" Ludwig asked. "Not a little." The elder smiled sweetly. "Hey, but keep that portrait." He put a hand on his shoulder. Ludwig only sighed.

They separated their ways. Ludwig went to home, when Francis was cooking. It had been a while since he had started living with them. He was used to him. Francis wasn't a bad person; in fact, he was a fun person to hang around. He was a good drinker. He spoke a lot about romance. He liked cheese in a weird way; Ludwig could describe that habit of the Frenchman as obsession.

"What's up?" Francis asked him. Ludwig shrugged his shoulder and sat down. It was good to feel free in his comfy clothes. "Nothing. Party." Francis hummed. "Nice hair."

"Thanks."

The sizzling sound of food filled the silence between them. Ludwig put his head on table. "Have you ever had a crush?" Ludwig asked spontaneously.

Francis turned around with a smile.

"Yes, so many that I cannot remember."

Ludwig didn't say anything to that.

"Do you believe in love?" The younger blond asked.

"I'll believe in love, when I find it." Francis said curtly.

"You look extra happy today. Can I ask why?" Francis snorted and glanced at Ludwig amusedly. "The morning has never been this good to me, I feel blessed." Francis was always smiling. He looked good when he smiled. Ludwig liked his eyes a lot, and when he smiled, it reached up to his eyes.

Maybe, Ludwig wanted to be like him later, when he was older.

Ludwig sighed and put his head down again. He had time till later.

After a few minutes, the door was slammed open. Gilbert was back. Ludwig yawned and went to greet him. But, as he stepped out of the room, and saw Gilbert in a critical condition, he ran back and pulled Francis with him.

Gilbert was bleeding.

...

I hope you enjoy reading and pls pls pls review my chapters. I would like to know what is missing in my writing style.

Until next chapter...


	7. The Night

"Some nights are brighter than some days, let's go out and walk _around_."

**_ 1937_**

Someone was cooing into his ear. He jolted from his place. He was gasping for air and his forehead was shining from sweating. It was middle of the night. His head ached. He touched his head and felt a fabric against his skin. Ludwig was safely asleep beside him. He ran his hand over his pale hair.

It was dark outside. The lights were off and the silence was not pleasant. Gilbert slowly put steps over the ground. His head hurt a lot. He went to the kitchen and drank water. There was a half cooked food on the table; he knew that it was Francis'.

He was drinking water, when Ludwig came inside the kitchen and yawned. "You are awake," Ludwig rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, my head hurts," Gilbert answered. Ludwig sat at the table and locked his gaze with him. This gesture of Ludwig made him nervous.

"So, what happened?" Both of them asked together. Gilbert thought Ludwig would smile or even laugh, because they used to laugh...

But now, Ludwig faced him with a serious gaze and it made him feel small.

"You were hit on your head." Ludwig pointed at his head. "Who did that?" He continued. "I don't know." Gilbert said with a sigh. In all honesty, Gilbert knew who had done that, but it was out of his power to take revenge or arrest them. If he wanted, he couldn't. "Gilbert, please don't think of me as a fool. I want to know." Ludwig pleaded. Gilbert didn't say a word about the man. He didn't mention about his fight with a group of drunken, Russian men. He knew it was his fault on the first hand for bothering them. He shouldn't have stepped out of his line of safety. One thing was proven to him that he would never mix himself with Russians. They were powerful, and they would destroy anyone or anything that was going to block them. He could've died. The thought sent chills down to his spine.

Gilbert only told him that his head hurt and it must've been the effect of the strike. He was a good liar. At least, good enough to convince Ludwig. He didn't want to lie and felt guilty for hiding everything from his brother.

"You should be careful. Just be careful for me. I don't want to lose you." Ludwig hugged him and tightened his arms around his waist. Gilbert returned the hug and drew circles on his back.

Knowing Francis was there, he couldn't speak with Ludwig like before.

It was by time when they went back to sleep. But, Ludwig remained restless. He rolled to his sides and tried to sleep, but he couldn't. Something came up to his mind, and he knew it was for his best to ignore it, but he could risk it. He quietly wore his coat and took his keys. He went out of the house and locked it door. He went to Feliciano's house. He looked around and took a small rock and threw it at Feli's window. After several attempts, Feli's head appeared from his window. He waved his hand and gestured Ludwig to wait. After a moment, Feli was standing before him with a cow licked hair and puffy eyes.

"What brings you here, now?" He rasped. Ludwig shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "I cannot sleep." He said. Feliciano looked at him for a moment longer. "Come in." Ludwig chained his bicycle before the door and went in.

"I think you should sleep here." Feliciano tried to hide a muffled yawn but it escaped anyway halfway through his sentence. Ludwig shifted his place and sat on the ground. "It is cold, you'll get cold. Let's sleep." Feliciano patted the couch. "I cannot sleep. I think too much." He pointed at his head with his finger. "Don't think."

"Genius, as if it is that easy. If it was that easy, I wouldn't have come here." Feliciano nodded because he didn't want to continue the argument. "Ludwig, it is literally the middle of the night. Why don't we sleep?" Ludwig sighed loudly and sat on the couch beside Feliciano. He slowly lay down and Feli followed him.

"Where are Romano and Papa?" Ludwig asked. Feli's eyes were closed. "I don't know. Somewhere, but they aren't at home." He said lazily. They were so close to each other. They were snuggling against each other. Ludwig moved a little low to bring a space between them. Feliciano was already asleep. He couldn't sleep. Instead he sat up and just stared at Feliciano and wondered; was Gilbert aware of him? Was he awake? Was Ludwig doing the right thing now?

Feliciano changed his side and faced Ludwig. "Can't sleep?" He mumbled. The younger was playing with Feli's hair. It was something they did occasionally. It began when Feli thought Ludwig had softer hair than his, because Ludwig's platinum blond hair looked soft.

So he touched his hair to prove it.

Ludwig sensed that Feliciano was tired because he had some beers; he smelled like a drunken old man.

"Ludwig I have an idea." Feliciano sat up and looked at him. A strand of hair fell to his face. He below it away before Ludwig could tuck it behind his ear.

Ludwig listened to Feliciano.

"Let me see if the sky is clear or not." To his luck, the sky was clear. No clouds.

Feliciano moved the couch beside the window and lay down. He made Ludwig lie beside him and both of them looked at the starry sky. They knew none of the cosmological patterns, they just pointed at the brightest stars.

"Look at that that is my star, Ludwig. Why? Well I have no explanation. I made it mine right now. Maybe I can give it a name. How about, Ludwig?" Ludwig shrugged his shoulders again. Feliciano turned his face towards the sky. "Yeah, Ludwig is good." He whispered to himself.

Ludwig didn't know what was going on in his home. Gilbert. Francis. Gilbert. Gilbert. Couldn't keep him out. He was injured! He should've returned back.

Feliciano wanted to hold his hand. It was easier for him to do so than to think about the reason. He simply felt like holding his hands. His hands fit perfectly with his own, because Ludwig's hands were meant to be masculine and appear strong to hold on to his slender hands. The thought made him feel warm. Ludwig was his only best friend, and one of the few people, that didn't look at him or his family as foreigners. Gilbert and Ludwig were different. They never pointed at a foreigner like others did. They were kind. Feliciano liked them for that quality.

Ludwig was staring at the stars and Feliciano stared at him. He secretly admired his aristocratic features. He liked his blond hair, which shone blue in the night time. Ludwig was growing and it kept on amusing Feliciano more and more. "Stop staring." Ludwig shut his eyes. A blush flashed on his face. Feliciano chuckled and hugged the younger. "Come on! You know..." maybe it wasn't how Germans expressed their feelings to their friends. Feliciano hesitated on choice of his words. Better be careful than sorry. He was still learning the cultural appropriations. So he simply left the end out. "Tonight is strangely bright." It had been raining for a week.

"Yeah. I look at sky at night time when I cannot sleep. After raining, you can see them better." Feliciano said. "I love them. I have heard that they are balls of fire. Like sun." He muttered.

Ludwig stood up and held his hand out for Feli.

"Let's go out and walk." Ludwig held his hand out. Feli accepted.

...

When he woke up, he couldn't deny the aching guilt he felt. And the first thing he saw that day was a piercing pale eye.

"Where were you?" Gilbert asked. Ludwig froze suddenly. "I said, where were you last night?!" Gilbert repeated in a serious tone. "I couldn't sleep, so I went out." Ludwig said curtly. Gilbert didn't drift his gaze from him. Ludwig shifted uneasily under his gaze.

"Were you out with a girl?" Ludwig wished it was true.

"No. I was with Feliciano." Gilbert huffed his lungs and sighed.

Ludwig wished it was true, he wished he had a girlfriend. He wished that Gilbert had a girlfriend; so that way they could match the norm of the society.

"Don't go out like that. I cannot lose you, you know." Gilbert caressed his cheek affectionately, but his eyes said that he was serious.

"You have to be careful." Gilbert hugged him. Ludwig knew he had to be careful. He knew everything, but in reality, Ludwig was the person who should've warned the latter, earlier. Ludwig felt like warning Gilbert about his habits. Some of them were unhealthy.

"Where is Francis?" Ludwig whispered. Gilbert pulled back and said that Francis was making breakfast. As always. Ludwig wondered how boring their food was going to get, after Francis went back to France.

When he went to the kitchen, the elder greeted him with a heart-warming smile. Ludwig really liked him. As much as he wanted to shut his eyes and deny it, he wanted Gilbert to act a little like Francis. Francis was older. He knew more. But, Ludwig wasn't sure enough about the reason that Gilbert told him: that Francis was living with them, because he had fought with some people.

It didn't seem logically acceptable. It had been over four months now. Gilbert was hiding something again, and when he hid something, it wasn't good.

"Rebelling?" Francis said in a sing song voice. "Huh?" Ludwig didn't hear him. "I mean, you leave at night time. You are rebelling against Gilbert." Francis winked with a charming smirk.

Ludwig had tried to make his smiles more gentle and soft.

"Stop it Francis. You know it is dangerous. Ludwig, don't listen to the old frog." Gilbert shooed a non-existent fly from the sky. Francis frowned his eyebrows together and mimicked Gilbert. Well, he wasn't that old mentally, yet. Ludwig watched both of them go childish. "I am going." He stood up to use the opportunity for his benefit and run away. "I am going to school." Ludwig said, as soon as a familiar hand landed on his shoulder. It was Gilbert's hand. "Stay smart." Gilbert squeezed his shoulder. Crimson eyes met ocean blues, and Ludwig knew what Gilbert was trying to say.

Stay out of danger.

...

Gilbert wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life. Ludwig was running out of his control. He wasn't the mighty supervisor Ludwig trusted once years ago. According to Francis' expectations, Ludwig was smarter than he showed. Smartness scared Gilbert. Smart people ran away from him. Ludwig was the only smart person he knew.

"You are too strict!" Francis complained. He had his reasons. "You know nothing Francis. I just wan-" Gilbert didn't finish his sentence.

"You just want the best for him." Francis completed. Gilbert nodded. "He is the nicest teenager I've seen. Give him some freedom. He is honest and loyal. He reminds me of roman aristocrats."

"You don't know him." Gilbert stressed each word in a way to convince Francis. "Some nights are brighter than days, Gilbert. And that is how I see through you and him." Francis bored Gilbert with his poetic words. Sometimes, Gilbert's body was there, but his mind was outside. The words were blurry to his ears. The background.

The wooden table cracked slowly under his elbows as his head sank lower and lower. "He is a good kid. And I think he looks up to you a lot ." Francis repeated. Gilbert was asleep.


End file.
